I hate relying on the change in the calendar as a jumping off point for new things, but it really does feel like starting over when we hit January. Maybe it is the clearing up of the holiday stuff-November and December get so busy and the house gets full to bursting with people and food, decorations and gifts. New Year’s Day comes and goes and the once cheerful holiday decorations now fill the space in a claustrophobic manner. Getting all that cleared out of the house feels like a new, fresh beginning.

With all that done though I still feel trapped. Unmotivated. Tharn. I need to paint, I need to blog, I need to catch up on social media sites, I need to play with my kids, I need to cook, clean, do laundry, I need to pick up the dog poop, I need to wash the dog, I need to help at preschool, I need to help at elementary school, I need to reorganize the basement, the office, the fun room…I’ve got upcoming shows to get ready for, medical concerns weighing heavily on my mind, neglected friends to call, a trip to plan for, a car with no gas in the tank, and a very overdue library book.

I don’t know what to do first, and so I am doing none of it. I want to be like my Sophie cat, and find a spot to hide.

The days and weeks feel like the are slipping through my fingers. Usually I feel like this for an hour, or a day, and then I pull myself out from under it, make some lists, and start to tackle things until I wonder why I thought it would all be so hard. I find that I’m having trouble pulling myself out from under it this time.

I’ve been fiddling, though. I started reading Jackie Battenfield’s The Artist’s Guide: How to Make a Living Doing What You Love. She has some challenges, some goals to write down. They seem like such an immense task right now, at once pointless and  thrilling. I set the book aside, but I think I’ll do them soon. I started re-reading Chris Guillebeau’s The Unconventional Guide to Art and Money. I’ve been thinking about my web presence, and how maybe I shouldn’t be satisfied with two sites (RedBubble for prints, ArtFire for originals). That would be like advertising during Oprah while hoping to reach Letterman’s audience too. I don’t know how the average customer goes about finding a website to purchase art from, but it seems silly of me to hope they stumble upon me at ArtFire when they normally shop at Artocracy or Zatista or any of the other sites where artists congregate to sell their wares.

In the “this probably doesn’t help with the overwhelmed feeling” category, I found this great blog post titled “List of 66+ Websites for Artists To Build Online Presence“. I’ll just jot those things down on my to-do list…

I know readers will be pleased to know that between starting and finishing this post, I did return that overdue library book. Baby steps.

Okay, I’m done. The party is over (but wait, it is only 1oam, I never got my beer!). I’m supremely lucky in so many ways - super supportive family, best dog in the world, food, clothing, shelter, warmth. Everyone has loads on their plate, dreams pushed off to another day, clutter and illness and days where you just feel like you are going in circles. I just needed to put mine out there. Acknowledge it. Frown at it. Get rid of the extraneous crap and just get to it. Up and out!